Agenda 21: The Meeting (Part II)

Agenda 21, pp. 101-105

So last time...You know what? Let's not talk about last time. Last time makes me sad and angry. Let's look ahead.

We start with another "ominous" pledge, which Jeremy fidgets through (I get it, Harriet, he's immature). Then the authority figure from the evil future government takes the stage and delivers...I don't think it's meant to be a bombshell, but it kinda is:

"In the name of our Republic, I have the following news," he said. "First, our birthrate is not keeping pace with our enemies'."

There are other countries out there, which no one bothered to mention until a third of the way into the narrative.

As far as I'm concerned, this is more proof of my theory that Harriet Parke wrote this well before getting tied up with Glenn Beck's Weeping Circle. Beck's U.N. centered, "internationalist" conspiracy theory obviously doesn't allow for multiple nation-states, and yet here we are. The alternative is that every nation on Earth simultaneously adopted similar strains of eco-fascism and then continued fighting as though nothing had changed, which doesn't make a lot of sense.

And they really do seem to be fighting, as evidenced by Announcement #2:

"The Central Authority has determined we must increase our energy production to compete with other republics. Other republics are growing larger armies than ours. We have news of increased strength in other republics."

"Other republics" need names. Orwell didn't go into deep detail on the differences between Oceania, Eurasia and Eastasia, but at least they had names that the future evil government could use in their speeches.

Say, what do you think the Republic army looks like? Our own armed forces are not especially green, given their heavy reliance on liquid fuels of one sort or another. Have they developed some sort of extended-range electric tank? Are they employing biomass-based fuels such as...oh, right, no alternative energy. Maybe they just throw rocks at each other.

The real purpose of this announcement is to reveal that the government needs more juice, and here's how they're getting it:

"All Citizens will be issued energy collection cells and thigh straps. The cells will store energy generated by your movements."

Wait a second. These guys have a compact device capable of generating and storing significant amounts of energy from simple kinetic motion, and their best idea is to strap it to a human being?

I...think we're going to wrap this up next time. We have always been at war with Eurasia. We have always...